4 steps of making Urdu a habit you can keep: my tips, and tricks

Recently, Sumbul and I did a book review on the Uber popular phenomenon called Atomic Habits, by James Clear. You can listen to the episode here if you haven’t had a chance to catch up. He has outlined four distinct steps of developing a new habit. In this post, I am going to outline how you can apply those to make Urdu a habit that is easier to incorporate into your life.

I want to warn you that the goal is not to have your kids speak flawless Urdu in a matter of weeks, but to make Urdu a part of your routine. If you repeat something 30 times, it can start becoming a habit. Habit tracking for the thirty days can be a very productive and useful activity to help you stay focused. I have one in the resource library for you to download and use for free.

Define your ultimate aim

Before we begin, you must think about what is the goal for you. Remember, your goal will set your direction but you will need a system to get there. For instance, if your goal is to be able to do more reading, you need a system that nudges you to do that. If you are interested in learning to write Urdu, you have to make your system around that.

In the book, he discussed at length how most of our time is spent doing things in a habitual manner. Those habits are cued in our environment. Hence if your environment has a system that makes it easy for you to start or continue a new habit, you will subconsciously start doing it more frequently until it becomes a part of your identity.

Habit stacking is so important

In this post, I am going to say that my goal is to make the habit of doing an Urdu related activity two or three times a week.

Hence the first step is to identify if there is an existing activity that closely resembles that schedule. It could be another activity or class, maybe around tea time or a park outing. It is easier to do habit stacking on an existing habit to start and continue a new habit.

You have to know what your typical day looks like for you. I decided that 4-5 pm is a good time when my kids are not scheduled for a class. They are either watching TV or playing. Create an environment that makes it obvious to you that you need to start learning Urdu.

The first step is to make it obvious:

Look around your house, and identify the typical cues that lead you to do your existing activity. Planning ahead some of the activities can save you the decision fatigue that happens when you do not plan things in advance (something I know too well).

For my example, I would choose one activity about reading in Urdu, another about listening or watching something in Urdu, and the third one about beginner-level writing. It will take some time to figure out what you like the most so keep at it till you find what you like to do. I also find that singing rhymes are another fun way that you can do pretty much anywhere. It needs minimal preparation.

Cue for reading Urdu:

This can be from an online website such as Rekha’s children’s page (link here) or Akhbar-e-Jahan’s weekly children’s spread (link here). I discovered another wonderful website that has books translated into many South Asian languages for free. It also mentions the difficulty level. (link to it here). You can bookmark this blog post and open it in a tab on your phone so you spend minimal time looking for something to read.

You can also use a physical book which is preferred for young readers.

The cue to make it obvious could be something like set an alarm or reminder (on a smart speaker or phone) and have the link bookmarked on your phone, tablet, or laptop so you do not have to think about it. If it is a physical book, you can set it in that area where you would usually hang out. It needs to be very obvious. You have to make sure you designate a specific time, either before or after another activity you do normally.

Cue for listening to Urdu:

This activity again needs some preparation ahead of time. But with Youtube, it can be done much more easily.

I recommended Patari in a previous post for their simple rhymes for children. (link here).

Rhyming improves phonological awareness. You can learn more in this post. You can plan for listening to one or two rhymes. Another Youtube channel is Mera Sabaq (link here) that has some rhymes and lessons for learning Urdu.

You can also use this time to read a story aloud to the kids. I would consider watching a drama as this activity too.

Cue for writing Urdu

This can be as simple as leaving a notebook and pencil next to the TV remote. You can use the notes app on the phone or tablet. I like using a whiteboard for practicing writing simple words. Use it for illustrating words if you think writing is too difficult at the moment.

But you have to make sure that you have a specific notebook or whiteboard that is in that place where you plan to do that activity. Minimize the friction of having to get up and find the material.

The next step is Craving

Craving was explained as the feeling you get when you sense the cue. It is the desire to change your state to experience that feeling. In essence, it is the craving that motivates you to move forward with a new habit. This comes from the cue and can be different to predict for each of us.

I recommend thinking about this step. You can treat the cue as the trigger to create the feeling of being someone who enjoys Urdu in their life. Picture someone who is already doing this regularly, as far as you know. Then imagine the feeling that it would bring to you if you can get to that level. What would that be like for you? Remember that feeling. Associate it with the cue above.

Third step: response

This is the part where you actually carry out the habit itself. This is where you would do the actual reading writing or listening to Urdu that we planned.

It is crucial to remember that you will only do it if you have the physical and mental ability and motivation to go through with it. If there are things that create friction, such as, being outside the house that day, or not being able to find the things you need, then your action will not happen and the preparation is going to go to waste.

Lastly: the reward

This is the most fun and enjoyable part of habit formation. After the activity is completed, you have to find a way to reward yourself . Our brain likes rewards and accolades. It keeps it motivated to repeat that behaviour.

This is where you can make it obvious that you are making progress. You can keep it simple, like marking off one check box in a habit tracker (like the one in the resource library).

Make it visual

You can keep a bottle with thirty paperclips or beads or something small. Every time you complete this habit, move one small item to an empty jar or bottle. This becomes a game for your brain, you want to keep earning the right to transfer it to the next bottle. This is simple but it works.

If you know that the long term goal is to be able to converse in Urdu but your day to day activities are not being sensed as meaningful, this kind of reward makes it more immediate for your brain to know that I earned this, I got rewarded for doing this, I need to remember to keep doing this. The goal is to keep repeating the small activity for at least 30 times until it compounds into a habit that you want to keep doing.

When are you going to start?

I hope this post helped you see how habits can be changed as long as you keep these four simple things in mind. If you are unable to continue, you have to resist the urge to blame yourself and think about the environment and system you need to improve.

I hope you are able to get going. The habit tracker I mentioned is in the resource library. Click here to sign up and get access to that and many more free resources.