Birth Onward: What No One Tells You About Breastfeeding

Read this in: اردو (Urdu)

As I went to pick up my almost three year old from her class and offered to carry her, she adamantly refused. Instead, she skipped and hopped to the car and insisted on pulling the door handle open by herself. As I buckled her, I asked her if she would give me a kiss. She shook her head no and instead asked me to put on her favorite song these days, Boom Boom by Meesha Shafi. I complied and then after buckling up we set out for back home. I knew this day was coming but it is happening way too soon.

It seemed like only yesterday when I was getting ready to give birth to my first-born. How convenient that I had finished my medical training requirements in advance of the due date. My inlaws had been able to come as well. I was mostly busy with pre-washing the baby clothes and finalizing items off my baby registry. Being the eldest in my family, I did not know anyone who had given birth recently to talk about their experience. Breastfeeding was my intent and I never thought twice about it. After all, isn’t that what my body is programmed to do? How hard could it be?

Long story short, it was hard! Really hard! Hard to the point that as another sleepless night approached, I was filled with dread over how the 8 hours will pass. I would grade my mothering skills on a scale of zero to minus 100. It was insidious but I felt on edge, scared, angry, depressed, and very alone. I was getting conflicting advice on what to do, how to feed my baby who did not seem to be gaining weight. I would wince at the time of latching and dread as the next feed time would approach.

After the first couple of weeks, I was referred to a lactation consultant who had a clinic forty miles out. I went there with no idea of what a lactation consultant does or how she could help me. I was hanging on by a thread of hope and desperate to try anything to make the feeling of being a failure go away.

Boy did she help me! She evaluated me and my feeding method in-depth and discussed what methods I could use. She also told me about supplements that could help boost my supply. There were resources and things that gave me a clear idea of what to do. At the end of the visit, I knew that I had a plan and someone who can help. At least I can try to stretch myself to feed till the six months mark, and then start introducing solids.

I went on to feed her for two years.

My experience primed me so that with the second one, I knew exactly what I need to do to establish my supply, what were the things to watch out for and how to troubleshoot before asking for help. My baby had no issues latching on and she went on to feed for two years as well.

I wish I could say that my experience was uncommon or exceptional. But sadly it is not.

In Pakistan, I routinely saw that formula was given right after the baby was born. There is no concept of lactation consultants or child specialists who advocate for breastfeeding. Mothers feel lost and emotionally vulnerable at a time when they need good advice and care from their loved ones. Well-meaning relatives advise giving a bottle so that the exhausted mom can catch a break, without realizing the negative impact it has on her supply early on.

A large part of it comes from the marketing of formula, with global sales of $44.8 billion in 2014 alone.

On the flip side, the benefits of breastfeeding could help prevent the economic loss of about $302 billion annually or about 0.49%of world gross national income. It has numerous other social benefits and also helps the environment and society.

We are living in a time when mothers are often rushed to get back to work after giving birth. There is so much pressure they have to deal with and childcare is another huge issue everywhere.

Formula can be indispensable in some situations.

But the thing that is so undervalued is the amount of information that is needed to prepare mothers to have a healthy start to their breastfeeding journey. Even as a doctor who has studied medicine, I had no idea what was needed to initiate and sustain a healthy breastfeeding relationship.

After my experience, I knew that the concepts are simple but not understood well. I wish there was a way that I could telepathically transfer my knowledge to every new mother out there who felt scared and alone and did not know where to turn. Breast pumps have been my most gifted items to close family members.

To be honest breastfeeding is not complicated. But you need to have some basic concepts right when you start on this journey.

That is why I was super excited when I found out that a dear friend from my medical school Dr. Zahra Kamal had become a board-certified lactation consultant. I know what she is doing is changing lives. I asked her if she will be willing to be on my podcast and talk about this important subject for my listeners. She graciously accepted.

In the next few weeks, I will be posting podcast interviews with her and an accompanying blog post with links to the information covered. This way there can be a reliable bank of information in Urdu for those who don’t know the basics of breastfeeding (like I did).

How was your journey? what was the scariest part for you? Make sure you have signed up for the newsletter so you can get updattes on the posts.

Read this in: اردو (Urdu)